What really happened to Augustus
by nattw
Summary: Did Augustus really fall into the river? Did Violet really blow up into a blueberry? Did Ms Salt really fall? Or are all these events part of a conspiracy started by Mr Wonka so Charlie would win?


**Augustus goes up the pipe**

With his chin to the ground enormous drops of drool, both sticky and wet, slowly oozed out the sides of Augustus's mouth. At first the dribble streamed out, but as Augustus turned to gaze upon the wonders of the chocolate room it began gushing. It was only a matter of minutes before Augustus charged down the hill, with his teeny tiny little legs just about managing to carry the immense weight that was his gigantic belly. As he ran he kept his mouth wide open, leaving his massive drool coated tongue to flap about tossing slobber left, right and centre.

It wasn't long before he reached the bottom of the hill, and as he did, he continued to head to the chocolate river, however his nose decided to take him somewhere else. 'What was that smell?' wondered his nose. 'Was it raspberries ...cherries...no ...custard?' His stomach replied with a large grumble 'strawberry and cream mushrooms.'

The giant mushroom patch that Augustus had found himself in had six in total and all looked as scrummy as the next, however there was one that looked very peculiar indeed. To most it would appear to be just a mushroom but those educated in bio-candyology would recognise that this particular mushroom wasn't made of strawberries or cream, but instead made out of paper mache and was being held up by an oopma loompa. This specific oompa loompa was very small, in fact he was so little he was named Bean because he was the exact same size as a cocoa bean.

As Augustus made his way through the patch, he licked each mushroom with such impact that the once red and white spotted mushrooms had now turned just white. This made Bean very nervous, after all if these giant mushrooms couldn't cope, what would happen to him? He was just four mushrooms away...three...two...one. In a split second, Augustus picked up the small mushroom Bean was in and took one giant sluggish lick. After a few moments Augustus soon realised that the mushroom didn't taste of anything and dropped Bean to the ground.

He then headed for the river, with the thought of what it might be like to drink pure melted chocolate. This very thought made Augustus crazy, so crazy in fact that instead of just scooping the chocolate with his hands he put his whole head in, consuming litre upon litre within minutes. With him completely distracted, Bean knew it was time after all it was just as the Big Bean, the Chief, had said 'He will lust for the taste of the river, so you must wait until its time and push him in.'

'The report made by Marsh and Mellow confirms that he cannot swim so he will definitely be extracted by the fudge delivery pipe, taking him out of the running as Mr Wonka has requested. To do this though you'll need to increase your strength so rather than you going to the dance rehearsals I want you working out.' With all this in mind Bean took a running stance and began sprinting towards Augustus. Faster and faster he ran, closing his eyes, waiting for the impact. Now what Marsh and Mellow had missed out of the report was that Augustus wasn't just big boned but his entire body was like a giant jelly. So as Bean knocked Augustus in the river the impact of the hit flung Bean into the air. While Augustus started shrieking and being extracted by the pipe, Bean was soaring across the chocolate room.

He rocketed over the mushroom patch, over the jellybean flowers and as he reached the top of the hill he crashed through the cotton candy trees. As he did the pink cotton-candy began clinging onto the extremely sticky slobber on the mushroom costume. When he landed at the top of the hill all that could be seen was a giant pink ball, and even though the cotton-candy was sticky, it wasn't enough to stop Bean rolling down it. Faster and faster he rolled, with the cotton candy taking with it large patches of liquorice grass and jelly bean flowers. By the time he reached the bottom Mr Wonka and his guests had embarked on the boat. After crashing through the mushroom patch Bean fell into the river creating a huge splash. As he floated on the surface, Mike TeaVee saw what had happened and asked Mr Wonka 'What's that over there?' To which Wonka replied 'You shouldn't mumble your words boy.'


End file.
